How Personality Predicts Likelihood of Relational Permanence
Trust is a hallmark quality of successful relationships.
Yet given how frequently people are shocked to find their trust was misplaced, the preferred path to a partner should include examining not only how a romantic interest feels about you, but others.
Because even in early courtship, when prospective paramours are meeting each other’s best selves and brand ambassadors, there are ways to distinguish deception from devotion.
When it comes to the prospect of relational permanence, one of the most significant predictors is how your prospective paramour treats others.
From restaurant servers to superiors, best friends to baristas, other-focused authenticity forecasts fidelity.
Research explains.
Extra-Relational Intimacy and Individual Differences
Baris Sevi et al. (2020) examined the way "light" and "dark" personality traits impact fidelity. And perhaps surprising to some people, relational satisfaction often has nothing to do with it.
Sevi et al. (ibid.) explain that individual differences impact the tendency to pursue extra-relational alternatives regardless of relationship satisfaction.
Examples include partners who were previously unfaithful, observed such behavior in their parents, and have had multiple sexual partners before marriage.
Individuals wiling to stray also include people with an unrestricted sociosexual orientation with a preference for multiple partners.
They also explain that people experiencing insecure attachment hold more permissive attitudes towards both the idea of infidelity and infidelity behaviors.
But personality matters as well.
Dark and Light Personalities
Sevi et al. (supra) recognize the established link between infidelity and Dark Triad traits.
Regarding definitions, they describe people high in Machiavellianism as manipulative and strategic, narcissists as high in feelings of dominance, superiority, and entitlement, and psychopaths as exhibiting a high degree of impulsivity and lack of empathy.
They note that people with higher amounts of dark traits are likely to have less restricted sociosexuality and lower standards for short-term partners.
Sevi et al. also explored the link between infidelity and benevolent personality traits, known as the Light Triad.
Kantianism involves treating people as ends unto themselves instead of as means to an end. Humanism celebrates the dignity and worth of every person.
Faith in Humanity is described as believing that people are fundamentally good and accepting of others.
Examining both attitudes and behavior, Sevi et al. (supra) found that dark triad individuals had more positive attitudes towards straying and reported more infidelity behaviors, while light triad individuals were less accepting of infidelity.
When it comes to unfaithful behavior, however, psychopathy was the highest predictor for both unfaithful attitudes and behaviors, forecasting a higher amount of both thought and deed.
Within the light triad, Kantianism was the sole predictor, with higher levels linked with fewer positive attitudes and behaviors related to infidelity.
Sevi et al. (supra) corroborate their findings by citing a study showing that a higher level of Kantianism was linked with a lower motivation of using online dating for short-term relationships.
They opine that Kantianism may impact infidelity while the other two light triad traits do not, because it captures personality elements that value honesty and authentic interaction, without manipulation.
Personality Predicts Permanence
If personality predicts relational permanence, new couples should examine pay attention to the way they treat each other, as well as others.
The future of their own relationship will depend on it.
This article was originally published in Psychology Today and is used with the permission of its author.
Wendy L. Patrick, JD, MDiv, Ph.D., is an award-winning career trial attorney and media commentator. She is host of "Live with Dr. Wendy" on KCBQ, and a daily guest on other media outlets, delivering a lively mix of flash, substance, and style. Read Dr. Wendy L. Patrick's Reports — More Here.
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