Charlie Sheen Should Heed Another Sheen's Counsel

Charlie Sheen might want to turn to another Sheen for counsel amidst his increasingly narcissistic tirades against all who do not bow to his whims and worship his wishes. Words of wisdom are readily available from one of the most humble yet eloquent evangelists and prolific preachers of modern times: Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen.

Archbishop Sheen was a spiritual giant of the mid-20th century who was hailed as a prophet of the times. He spoke with a mischievous but invisible angel on his shoulder, as opposed to the devilish character who seems ensconced on Charlie’s to propel his sense of entitlement to act however outlandishly he pleases.

Archbishop Sheen had gained such stature as an evangelist by 1952 that he graced the cover of Time magazine.

The Roman Catholic archbishop was virtually the first televangelist, with down-to-earth messages he outlined on a blackboard in those times of grainy black and white pictures. He hosted a night-time radio show, “The Catholic Hour," for 20 years before vaulting to the infant medium of TV with his “Life Is Worth Living” from 1951 to 1957, and then, the syndicated “The Fulton Sheen Program” from 1961-68.

His body of work earned him an Emmy Award as Most Outstanding Television Personality. Obviously, he can’t be confused with Charlie, who has deemed himself the most outstanding TV personality — if not the king of the world — and has put himself in the running for an Emmy as the Most Obnoxious Television Personality. If his recent rants aren’t testimony enough, tag on his threat to sue CBS for $320 million for mental anguish over its cancellation of “Two And a Half Men,” which he himself imperiled with his recent antics.

Charlie Sheen

Although ABC issued a news release today saying Sheen will do some apologizing on a special episode of “20/20” Tuesday, he wasn’t very apologetic this morning in an interview on NBC’s “Today” show in which he refused to back off from his childish rants of last week: "I'm tired of pretending I'm not special. I'm tired of pretending I'm not bitching a total freaking rock star from Mars. And people can't figure me out. They can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain."

If Charlie would stifle it for a bit instead of tossing tirades at those who have supplied him with a livelihood, he could process some notable quotables from someone who was a rock star among preachers. From the lips of the archbishop, who died in 1979, came these gems:

• “The proud man counts his newspaper clippings, the humble man his blessings.”
• “Baloney is flattery laid on so thick it cannot be true, and blarney is flattery so thin we love it.”
• “Life is like a cash register, in that every account, every thought, every deed, like every sale, is registered and recorded.”
• “Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.”
• “Show me your hands. Do they have scars from giving? Show me your feet. Are they wounded in service? Show me your heart. Have you left a place for divine love?”
• “I feel it is time that I also pay tribute to my four writers, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.”
• “The only way to win audiences is to tell people about the life and death of Christ. Every other approach is a waste.”
• “You should realize that the community with which you deal is not the one of 42nd Street and Broadway, or Hollywood and Vine. These are the crusts on the great American sandwich. The meat is in between.”
• “The big print giveth, and the fine print taketh away.”

Not to put too fine of a print on the finest point here, Charlie Sheen, but pride goeth before the fall.

And Archbishop Sheen might offer you this advice: “Pride is an admission of weakness; it secretly fears all competition and dreads all rivals.”