There's a new trend sweeping legislatures that may make for some awkward conversations with your children, especially when discussing dearly departed loved ones, in relation to trash disposal.
New York has become the latest state to allow families to bypass burying relatives in favor of composting them.
No, this is not a Babylon Bee satire; it's a ghoulish fact.
Why go to the expense of buying a coffin and plot to plant grandma or grandpa when you can spread them around plants instead?
State-approved composting differs from cremation in a number of significant ways.
When you cremate papa or momma there are limits to what you can do with the powder.
You can keep them in the urn and hope no one mistakes that sealed vase for sugar.
Or, you can spread the ashes, and pray for being upwind.
Or, you can place them in an hourglass, where they will remain active in an active state.
This latest twist on composting, on the other hand, allows you to distribute granny or gramps in a state forest, add to the lushness of your local fairway, or keep them with the rest of the mulch in the backyard.
The latter, though, leads to awkward questions: "Which flowerbed is granny’s, or gramp's?’ or "Why does Bowser always dig under granny’s tree first?"
Currently Washington state, Colorado, Oregon, Vermont, and California — along with New York — allow the practice.
The description of the process is a carnival of euphemisms.
The AP describes it thusly, "The process goes like this: the body of the deceased is placed into a reusable vessel along with plant material such as wood chips, alfalfa and straw.
"The organic mix creates the perfect habitat for naturally occurring microbes to do their work, quickly and efficiently breaking down the body in about a month’s time.
"The end result is a heaping cubic yard of nutrient-dense soil amendment, the equivalent of about 36 bags of soil, that can be used to plant trees or enrich conservation land, forests, or gardens."
That’s a lot of verbiage to avoid using the word "rot."
The description also overlooks an important part of the "amendment" raw material.
Namely, the bones.
The Jews routinely used a similar burial practice in ancient times.
The body was placed in a tomb to decay.
After a year or so the family would open the tomb and put the remaining bones in an ossuary for permanent storage.
There is no mention of bones in the description of this modern practice.
Does the family receive the bones in a separate package as a bonus or are the bones run through a woodchipper and mixed in with the "amendment"?
And then there are the legal ramifications.
Should the family move in the future, do grandma or grandpa convey with the house?
What’s more, there isn’t exactly a groundswell (no pun intended) of demand for the process. As of November 2022 — in spite of legislative enthusiasm — only 550 bodies have elected to join "mulchworld."
Our lack of enthusiasm for state-sanctioned rotting is echoed by the New York State Catholic Conference, which issued a statement: "A process that is perfectly appropriate for returning vegetable trimmings to the earth is not necessarily appropriate for human bodies.
"Human bodies are not household waste, and we do not believe that the process meets the standard of reverent treatment of our earthly remains."
Michael Reagan, the eldest son of President Reagan, is a Newsmax TV analyst. A syndicated columnist and author, he chairs The Reagan Legacy Foundation. Michael is an in-demand speaker with Premiere speaker's bureau. Read Michael Reagan's Reports — More Here.
Michael R. Shannon is a commentator, researcher for the League of American Voters, and an award-winning political and advertising consultant with nationwide and international experience. He is author of "Conservative Christian's Guidebook for Living in Secular Times (Now with added humor!)" Read Michael Shannon's Reports — More Here.