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Tags: democratic donkey | republican appreciation month

Humorous Suggestions for Ribbing the Left

Humorous Suggestions for Ribbing the Left
A Trump supporter poses for a picture with a 'Caution Deplorables Crossing!' sign while waiting in line to hear President Donald Trump speak at a rally in Freedom Hall at the Kentucky Exposition Center March 20, 2017, in Louisville, Kentucky. (Bill Pugliano/Getty Images)

Sid Dinerstein By Monday, 27 March 2017 11:40 AM EDT Current | Bio | Archive

It’s time to play Our Turn again. Are you having fun yet? I know I am. Last month I wrote about a few easy ways to get your liberal friends to become unhinged. To review, we applauded First Lady Melania Trump’s admonition to: "Let us pray." I called for the very popular English-as-our-official-language movement. I pleaded for a daily illegal police blotter email. And, finally, I suggested an Educational Freedom Day. Well, here we are. Another month, another group of sticks-in-their-eyes proposals.

Let’s start with the trivial (but humorous).

Whenever I speak at an event with a meal I chastise the caterer for not serving Russian dressing. It makes all the logic in the world. We have a sense of humor and they don’t. Let’s exploit that. Which leads to a proposal for a gift for the man (or woman) who has everything: Obama Barackulars, perfect for high rise snooping on the rich and targeted. And how about that Democrat donkey? I would think by now the Democrats would be ready to kiss their asses goodbye and embrace a more modern animal, one that suggests power, courage, and fearlessness. Yep, you got it: the Russian bear. A winner if there ever was one. Time for the Dems to embrace their inner Putin. Remember when President Trump said that Putin was a stronger leader than President Obama? Well it’s still true. It’s time for the Dems to get off their asses and embrace the bear hug.

On a more serious Russian note, how about we propose admitting Russia into NATO? After all President Obama made fun of Mitt Romney for suggesting that Russia was our biggest enemy. Let’s call it the Obama initiative, the new NATO: Russia in, Turkey out. After all, if President Roosevelt could unite with Russia (Stalin) to win World War II, we can unite with Russia (Putin) to wipe out ISIS. I know Bernie would be all in. He honeymooned in Moscow. Remember?

Okay, enough about Russia. Let’s get back to America, and I mean the heartland.

The Dems are always out in front on this whole "hate crime" tyranny. Let’s play catch up. We can detect slurs with the best of them. We say "American exceptionalism," they say "hate crime." We say Thomas Jefferson, they again say "hate crime." Well here’s my proposal: Anyone who uses the phrase "flyover country" should be charged with a hate crime. Anyone on an airplane going from one coast to the other, wearing a smug grin and an "I’m With Her" backpack sticker should be charged with a "thought crime." How could they argue? We’re finally breaking new ground: Thought police arresting Democrats for their terminal smugness. It doesn’t get any better than that.

And just in case there are still a few Democrats whose heads haven’t exploded yet, let’s declare July "Republican Appreciation Month."

Clearly the Republican Party is the most compassionate friend of the underdog in world history. Here is one party, born as recently as July 6, 1854, that freed the slaves by beating the Democrats in the Civil War, got the women the vote, fought the terrorist wing of the Democratic Party (the Ku Klux Klan), fought the Jim Crow laws, integrated the schools, protects the whole world, fights for school choice, fights for the rights of the unborn and saves the elderly and infirm from the Democratic suicide assisters. No organization has ever done more. Just think, our media outlets could name a Republican icon every day for thirty one days. Think of Abraham Lincoln, General Grant, Susan B. Anthony, Booker T. Washington, Martin Luther King, Jackie Robinson, Dwight Eisenhower, Milton Friedman, Clarence Thomas, and Ronald Reagan; just for starters. That’s a fast ten just to stimulate thought. Ask your Dem friends for help in filling in the rest.

As you can see, Our Turn is a game anyone can play. We can run contests for head exploding suggestions. We can give prizes like our Declaration of Independence and Constitution. But we must not forget the serious thoughts that undermine this fun exercise: The Democrats simply cannot accept that Donald Trump is president, that the bureaucratic/welfare state is being rolled back and, best of all, that we will Make America Great Again.

Sid Dinerstein is a former chairman of the Palm Beach County Republican Party. He founded JBS Associates, a 600-person financial service company, and currently combines politics and business with Niger Innis in Inclusive Elections LLC, a firm that brings urban electorate voters to the GOP. He is the author of "Adults Only: For Those Who Love Their Country More Than Their Party." For more of his reports, Go Here Now.

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The Democrats simply cannot accept that Donald Trump is president, that the bureaucratic/welfare state is being rolled back and, best of all, that we will Make America Great Again.
democratic donkey, republican appreciation month
Monday, 27 March 2017 11:40 AM
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