Way back when TV networks wouldn’t think of allowing ads for sexual dysfunction or bladder blowups on the air, they did make room for a tiny man floating in the toilet tank.
The Ty–D–Bol man buzzed about in his little ski rig and when a housewife lifted the tank lid he told her how lucky she was not to be scrubbing any more.
(For non–plumbers in the audience, the tank is the large container holding water that sits above the toilet bowl. A tiny man floating in the bowl wouldn’t survive the first flush, nor would he be floating alone. How the Ty–D–Bol man got along when the tank lid was on and it was pitch dark was never explained in the commercials.)
I’m not sure if it was an increase in the price of TV advertising time or women leaving the home to work in the business world, but the Ty–D–Bol man vanished from the airwaves decades ago. But thanks to the drought in my home state of California, he may have a new lease on life and be able to get out of the dark.
Gov. Jerry Brown has taken a page from the Barack Obama governing handbook and issued an executive order that bans showers he considers to be too long. This type of order is tailor made for the left’s controlling nanny state.
I can see colored charts and graphs in the future outlining just how much water can be used to hose down a 5-foot woman as opposed to a 6–foot man. And since the Democratic left is also obsessed with weight, this would be a perfect time for some incentives. If you’re 6–foot tall with a BMI of 25, you can add 30 seconds of shower time to your base allotment for each step down on the BMI scale as you lose weight.
All though this is a laughing matter, the fines certainly aren’t. Gov. Brown says violating his order can result in a fine of up to $500. It’s catching violators that will be a problem.
There is some talk of urging neighbors to inform on water wasters, which would be the first time window peeping — aside from NSA— has received government approval, but it could result in some nasty confrontations.
This is where the Ty–D–Bol man comes in handy. Although a mariner such as himself would probably prefer to monitor bathtub usage, floating in a shower would be an improvement over the inside of a toilet tank.
He’s already familiar with modern communication techniques from his time on TV, so becoming a roving informant for Gov. Brown should present no problem at all.
Michael Reagan is the son of President Ronald Reagan. He is president of The Reagan Legacy Foundation and chairman of the League of American Voters. Mike is an in-demand speaker with Premiere. Read more reports from Michael Reagan — Go Here Now.