Tiger Woods Will Maintain His Brand

Headlines (Scroll down for complete stories):
1. Tiger Woods Will Maintain His Brand
2. Janet Jackson Defends Obama
3. Roman Polanski Gets Hollywood Treatment in Switzerland
4. 'Pulp Fiction' Writer Tweets From 'Jail'
5. Party Should Be Over for White House Crashers
 

1. Tiger Woods Will Maintain His Brand

Over the years a lot of people have questioned whether PGA legend Tiger Woods was for real. The way he played, his idyllic life and his billion-dollar image were discussed, dissected, and dreamed about.

Now we know the athlete has something in common with the rest of us: He’s human.

The news story about Tiger has had an interesting life cycle. It started out being about a car accident that involved a fire hydrant and a tree and then morphed into some kind of domestic dispute between the golfer and his supermodel wife.

Tiger had dubbed his yacht “Privacy.” He was disciplined in his public life and for years was an admirable role model for adults and children alike.

Several times now Tiger has refused to speak to police about the car accident. He currently has no legal obligation to do so.

He has taken complete responsibility for the crash and asked the public to ignore the rumors that are rampant.

“This situation is my fault, and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I'm human, and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again,” Tiger posted on his Web site.

“This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way,” he wrote. “Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded, and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible. The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.”

Tiger has asked for understanding and said that he and his family “deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.”

A Fox News reporter remarked that what Tiger is asking for is a “mulligan.” This is one guy who deserves it.

2. Janet Jackson Defends Obama

President Obama has a new defender.

Not Robert Gibbs, James Carville, or Lady O. Speaking out on behalf of the prez is none other than Janet Jackson.

Still dealing with the sudden passing of her beloved brother Michael, Janet recently chided Obama's critics for being impatient for the promised hope and change.

“Everyone wants everything to turn around immediately,” Janet told the Times of London.

“It took us how many years to get to this point? People say, ‘His first 100 days in office, what has he done?’ You can’t do that to the man. It’s not going to happen tomorrow,” she insisted.

Janet is busy with the release of a greatest hits album and a book but took some time to analyze the present state of affairs.

She sees today’s state of the world through a dark lens. Still, she doesn’t place blame on the current leadership.

“I think people want escapism right now… it’s a sad world right now,” Janet said.

3. Roman Polanski Gets Hollywood Treatment in Switzerland

The Hollywood crowd has had their wishes granted with respect to the fugitive from the California criminal courts, Roman Polanski.

Polanski’s lawyers have been able to convince the Swiss courts to give the defendant director special treatment.

Apparently, the legal loopholes in Swiss law are a lot like their famous cheese since Polanski has been given a “get out of jail” card and will spend his time under house arrest in a luxury chalet gazing at a view of the Alps.

A Swiss decision is forthcoming within the next several weeks on whether to extradite the filmmaker to the U.S.

Polanski has also been granted the right to host parties at his home. He just may have a big bash to celebrate the Swiss stroke of luck.

While he waits he can decide whether it will be worth it to jump bail a second time, although it will cost him a cool $4.5 million if he decides to split.

Polanski can use his phone and send e-mails without fear of monitoring, so he can call his agent if he wants to and find out if there are any productions in need of a dubious director and that are willing to advance around $5 million.

Swiss officials say they still think there is a high risk Polanski will try to flee. He will be wearing an electronic monitoring device that will tip off authorities if he runs so they can immediately deposit the bail check.

Don Beyer, U.S. ambassador to Switzerland, was quoted by the weekly Sonntags Blick as saying that he advised Polanski to go to the United States on his own to serve whatever sentence he faces.

4. 'Pulp Fiction' Writer Tweets From 'Jail' 

Roger Avary, co-writer of “Pulp Fiction,” was sentenced to a year in jail for causing a car crash in Ojai, Calif., that injured his wife and killed a passenger.

A sharp-eyed Los Angeles tech writer, Mark Milian, saw tweets coming from the Twitter account, @avary, with vivid descriptions of prison ongoings.

Avary's tweets chronicled life behind bars amid heroin smuggling, lockdowns, and body searches.

The screenwriter tweeted that he was “to receive a random strip-down and cavity search to be performed by a leering, rotund officer."

Avary also tweeted that his “new roomie, EZ, takes Yeyo's old bunk, locker, AND number. He regales awesome tales about his former life as an Oxnard gangbanger.”

It turns out that Avary had not spent a night in jail because he posted bail the day he was arrested. When he reported back to the facility on Oct. 26, he was remanded at 7:54 a.m. and released 11 minutes later, according to records.

Instead of jail, Avary was serving his time in a Ventura County work furlough program, which allowed him to go to his job during the day.

Interestingly, Avary suddenly reported to the Ventura County Jail for incarceration on Thanksgiving Day for "security issues." That evening, @avary tweeted that he had been “'rolled up' to a higher security facility for exercising his First Amendment rights. The truth he has discovered is too dangerous."

The line between reality and fiction keeps getting twuzzier.

5. Party Should Be Over for White House Crashers

The Secret Service is embarrassed. The public is astounded.

And how about the couple who engaged in the serious act that undermined national security?

They’ve apparently “agented up” and are reportedly shopping their first TV interview in search of the big bucks.

White House security isn’t pleased with its performance, which allowed Michaele and Tareq Salahi to con their way past the checkpoint at the Obama administration’s first state dinner.

The Salahis weren’t on the guest list. The Secret Service issued a rare apology for the security breakdown.

Now the prospective reality-show stars have canceled a scheduled interview with Larry King, and they are seeking to obtain a six-figure fee for a media appearance.

An unidentified TV exec let The Associated Press know that reps for the Salahis told networks to “get their bids in” if they were interested in the gate crashing couple.

The Salahis were actually seeking to become cast members on “The Real Housewives of D.C.” Folks from Bravo were apparently at their side at the event, and they had a bit of an entourage with them, too.

Brian Williams told NBC News, "What attracted our attention was, there was at least one camera trailing them, and a makeup woman got out and fixed the woman's hair and started powdering the man's forehead. My wife and I thought that was strange for people who were dressed like state dinner guests."

In addition to agents, though, the Salahis might think about hiring some defense lawyers. An investigation into possible criminal behavior is ongoing and, in a rare show of bipartisanship these days, two senators have urged the pursuit of criminal charges against the couple.

The concern, of course, is that any individual would be able to get past security and into such close proximity to President Obama and Vice President Biden.

Sens. Evan Bayh, D-Ind., and Jon Kyl, R-Ariz., both agree on throwing the proverbial book at the Salahis because such behavior needs to be seriously deterred.

"These folks could be like the — what is the name? Richard Reid, who changed the way everybody travels through the airports because of this one guy. This couple may change the way people go to the White House," Bayh told "Fox News Sunday."

"I'm kind of wondering what I'm going to be facing to get into the White House this time. It's probably going to be a lot stricter than it has been," Bayh said.

"If it's a federal crime to lie to a federal agent, and these people didn't tell the truth about their invitation, then they should be in some way brought to justice here, again, as an example to others not to do it," Kyl said.

News reports have unfortunately been filled with similar incidents that relate to exploitation of events in order to snag some fame.

Reality programs have consistently turned out instant celebrities. But today’s batch of would-be reality stars have more competition than they did in the past and may feel as though extraordinary measures are needed to really get noticed.

Jon and Kate Gosselin became mega-stars when their reality show, which let the public eavesdrop into the way the couple handled their eight children, became a hit.

Nadya Suleman, aka the “Octo-Mom,” used her sizable family to procure a reality special.

Richard Heene made headline news with the claim that his 6-year-old son, Falcon, had been carried away in the family's homemade helium balloon. The "Balloon Boy" story turned out to be a hoax to gain attention for what else — a potential reality show.

The White House crashers apparently thought they would up the reality show ante. But they may be about to find out how far is too far.