Restrictions Lifted: New Rules for Maskless Mixing

With social restrictions lifted, what are the new social distance rules for maskless mixing?

We're now delighted to meet new faces, and reconnect with familiar ones — now that we can recognize them again. Yet, there is a new "face" of modern maskless mingling, one encompassing a healthy new respect for social behavior — and distance.

Making a great impression in a post-pandemic social scene requires means embracing strategy and sensitivity. Just because we're now permitted to gather closer together doesn’t mean everyone is comfortable doing so.

These days, boldly approaching with an intended embrace is not likely to be reciprocated with open arms. Although respecting personal space is more important than ever, there are effective, alluring ways to re-engage.

Unmasking Romance: The New 'Face' Of Attraction

Face coverings made people feel safe, but not social.

We missed out on all of the nuances of expression, lending emotion and meaning to the (often hard to decipher through a mask) spoken word. But one thing we missed most was seeing each other smile. Some people enthusiastically purchased plastic transparent shields early on — only to be informed masks were required as well.

Now that the masks are coming off with discernible frequency, physical attraction is tempered with social attraction — including a healthy respect for personal space; recognizing that people have very different comfort zones.

And . . .  manners matter too.

Simple behaviors such as coughing and sneezing create much more concern and discomfort in current times, which causes some people to be very intentional about excusing themselves from conversations or still wearing a mask.

So how can we put our best foot forward without stepping too close for comfort?

Research reveals some factors which might predict post-pandemic precautions:

Stress and Sanitation: COVID Concerns Continue

Research by Steven Taylor and Gordon J. G. Asmundson (2020) reveals that some people actually developed a COVID Stress Syndrome, complete with fear of touching potentially contaminated surfaces, reassurance seeking regarding COVID-related concerns, fear of foreigners who might be infected, and associated traumatic stress symptoms including nightmares and COVID-related intrusive thoughts.

They found that apparently, people who develop this syndrome have pre-existing psychopathology, including high levels of health anxiety, as well as what they term "obsessive-compulsive checking and contamination symptoms." They note that time will tell regarding whether the COVID Stress Syndrome is an adjustment disorder that will fade post-pandemic, or whether, at least for some people, it could become chronic.

Because first impressions matter, and we don’t know the individual comfort levels of people we encounter, there are ways to bond with both the health conscious and health-cautious.

Here are a few ideas:

The Approach: Go Slow 

Modern approach behavior might create apprehension, so go slow. Begin with a warm smile, to gauge someone’s comfort level of closer contact.

Let them take the first step —literally. There is no reason to begin with a hug; better to warm up to physical contact, letting the other person make the first move.

Take it Outside

When you don’t know where someone is on the post-pandemic comfort spectrum, avoid stifling the mood with stress. Generate great conversation in the great outdoors. Fresh air can improve mood, and decrease anxiety, which promotes relaxed conversation and enjoyment.

Make a Fresh First Impression

Although we took a pause from in-person contact, we remained engaged.

The proliferation of virtual platforms reflected forced physical distance, not social distance.

Although our complaints of "Zoom fatigue" illustrated the reality that many people actually saw each other’s faces more during the pandemic, not less, we now have the opportunity to add chemistry to computer chat. So if there is someone with whom you would like to turn over a new leaf (and start fresh) you now have the chance to make an entirely new, respectful and socially responsible, first impression.

Remember to always re-engage responsibly.

This column was originally published in Psychology Today.

Wendy L. Patrick, JD, MDiv, Ph.D., is an award-winning career trial attorney and media commentator. She is host of "Live with Dr. Wendy" on KCBQ, and a daily guest on other media outlets, delivering a lively mix of flash, substance, and style. Read Dr. Wendy L. Patrick's Reports — More Here.