This Veterans Day our country pauses to honor those who have served in the U.S. military. It is a day to remember and reflect upon the sacrifices of our veterans and thank them for their service. Veterans come from all walks of life and have fought in different wars and in different uniforms. But one thing they have in common is the challenging lifestyle they led fighting for our freedom. Many sacrificed their lives, and many who lived still suffer from the trauma of military life.

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According to the  National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), veterans frequently face mental health challenges such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), traumatic brain injury or depression. U.S. soldiers were almost nine times more likely to die by suicide than by enemy fire, according to a Pentagon study for the five-year period ending in 2019, reports USA Today.

The study, published last May by the Defense Health Agency, found that suicide was the leading cause of death among active-duty soldiers. There were 883 suicide deaths, 814 accidental deaths and 96 combat deaths during that period.

The study was conducted before the Army and the Pentagon initiated a task force to explore harmful behavior such as alcohol and drug abuse that contribute to suicide. However, in the first quarter of 2024, The Department of Defense reported 94 confirmed or suspected suicides in the Active Component, 24 in the Reserve, and 21 in the National Guard.

But suicide is not the only serious issue facing our veterans.

Traumatic events, such as military combat, assault and disasters can have long-lasting negative effects such as trouble sleeping, anger, nightmares, being jumpy and alcohol and drug abuse. Although PTSD is not unique to the military, it is important to note that seven out of 100 veterans will have PTSD at some point in their life, according to the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs.

Experts say the best way to support our veterans is to pay attention and listen if they want to share their experiences.

“This is the veteran’s opportunity to give, and your opportunity to receive,” says Regina Koepp, board certified clinical psychologist, writing for Psychology Today. “Don’t expect this conversation to happen in public. Military experiences can be emotional, and people don’t want to be vulnerable in public. Consider sharing a meal together and allow the conversation to happen naturally.

“Or do an activity together, like a walk or a hike, or working a puzzle together, and then ask if they’d be willing to share,” Koepp says, adding that is important to respect their boundaries. Veterans who have experienced war or other trauma often want to protect loved ones from the atrocities they witnessed or were part of.

It’s also important to meet the veteran with love and acceptance.

“it’s an incredibly vulnerable thing for a veteran to share their military experiences, especially if they’ve experienced combat or other traumatic events,” says Koepp. “Military culture is well-known to be rigid, punitive, and shaming, especially when it comes to being vulnerable.”

According to War on the Rocks, a platform for analysis and education on foreign policy and national security issues, some empathetic queries to help our veterans share are:

“What service were you in? Why did you choose that one?”  Each branch of service, the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marine Corps has their own culture and veterans often appreciate the opportunity to talk about their decision to serve.

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“Are you still in the military? What are you doing now?” These questions allow veterans to know you are interested in their current lives more than lurid tales of the past, says War on the Rocks.

“What was your job?” Veterans performed many diverse specialties ranging from dog trainers to musicians. Asking a veteran about the job she or he had in uniform may initiate a surprising conversation.

Experts say that simply thanking a veteran for his or her service often elicits a negative reaction. It seems trite to many veterans. Instead, say “thank you for putting the rest of your life on hold to serve your country.” This shows that you understand the totality of what a veteran has given up in choosing to spend several years in uniform.

If you know someone who is suffering, or need support yourself, contact the Veterans Crisis Line by dialing 988 and then pressing 1. You can also text 838255, for free, confidential support 24/7, 365 days a year.