Christmas is coming, which means family gatherings and shared time huddled around the warming glow of the fire . . . or a screen.
For the second year in a row, we’d like to share some suggestions for anti-woke holiday entertainment. Most of these are fairly recent, which shows there’s hope for Hollywood to entertain instead of lecture. "Yes, Virginia," there are movies where entitled millionaires don’t lecture normal people about their awfulness.
15-13. The Chronicles of Narnia (2005-10)
When Disney secured the film rights to CS Lewis’s classic book series, they imagined they were buying an audience as large as Lord of the Rings and as passionate as, well, The Passion. They ended up adapting only three of the seven books, alas, but they’re still wonderful family fare. The third one is the best, but the first one is the most Christmas-y.
12. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
The religious imagery of this post-apoc film is beautiful. The villains of the piece are the Four Horsemen (well, drivers) of the Apocalypse — Famine, Pestilence, and War — with Charlize Theron’s skeletal Furiosa as Death. Max is a Savior-figure who vanquishes the first three and saves the fourth with his life-giving blood. They even introduce him to us on a crucifix.
And in the scene where Max explains his plan to a group of women, they just listen and participate rather instead of whining about "man-splaining."
11. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
Almost 60 years old, but still perfect. Note how Linus throws his security blanket aside when he quotes the angels saying "Fear not!" in the middle of his famous speech.
10. Galaxy Quest (1999)
This isn’t anti-woke per se, but Tim Allen has been the tip of the spear in fighting the culture war for years. It’s his best – and my favorite – movie, though he has plenty of Christmas-specific work.
8-9. Sicario films (2015, 2018)
Released just in time for Trump’s first run on the White House, Sicario mercilessly depicts the violence of the US-Mexico border. (Emily Blunt’s FBI agent is the hero, so you may have to choke down that piece of fiction.) The sequel, Sicario: Day of the Soldado, shows the cartels exploit America’s undefended southern border to sneak in Jihadist suicide bombers. Not exactly a Christmas movie, but certainly not a Ramadan one.
7. Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019)
Quentin Tarantino’s best movie is also his most anti-woke!
The delightful Bruce Lee cameo is more than a little politically incorrect, and when Chinese censors demanded Tarantino cut it he refused, costing the film millions in Chinese revenue. The movie’s villains are hippies, and when a woke reporter tried to call him out for imaginary sexism, he quickly shot her down.
Yes, we’ve gotten to the point where Tarantino is the voice of conservative entertainment.
6-4. Iron Man trilogy (2008-13)
Given the amount of money generated by the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the theatre industry owes its continued existence to Robert Downey Jr. While his Iron Man trilogy showcases the excesses of the War on Terror, it’s also unrepentant about the need to kill terrorists. In Iron Man 2, the obnoxious Senator turns out to be Deep State, and Iron Man 3 actually takes place at Christmas, so should be enough for the whole family!
3,2. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (2015), Fallout (2018)
Speaking of Deep State, the most recent films in the enduring Mission Impossible franchise feature a cabal of elitists trying to reset the world under the doctrine, "The greater the suffering, the greater the peace." The Great Reset-ers in this film don’t quite twirl their moustache like the World Economic Forum does, probably because the filmmakers thought audiences would find that kind of evil too unbelievable.
The next film, Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning, is going to be the most successful film of 2023 because of . . .
- Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
This long-awaited Tom Cruise vehicle proved to be the movie no one realized they needed. With a domestic box office of $718 million – $300 million more than the pics in the No. 2 and 3 spots – the Top Gun sequel showed an irrefutable desire for traditional American entertainment. Maverick’s international gross added another $770 million, meaning people of all cultures want to see enormous flags, heroic masculinity, the US Navy, and 1980s glory.
Also try our Thanksgiving or Valentine’s Day lists for more anti-woke entertainment. It’s not enough for us to cheer when didactic nonsense like Avatar: The Way of Water underperforms, we need to support the kind of shows we’d like to see. Merry Christmas!
Jared Whitley is a longtime politico who has worked in the U.S. Congress, White House and defense industry. He is an award-winning writer, having won best blogger in the state from the Utah Society of Professional Journalists (2018) and best columnist from Best of the West (2016). He earned his MBA from Hult International Business School in Dubai. Read Jared Whitley's reports — More Here.
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